I recently found myself bragging about my marriage to a friend at a party. Actually, it was a “mutual bragging” as we shared about our spouses and the qualities we valued in our marriages.

At one point, I nudged my friend and jokingly said, “Yeah, next year we’ll hear the other is getting a divorce!” We both laughed! You know the laugh – “Ha ha ha! That would never happen! Never!” But my joking comment begged the question,

Through my work with women in my individual counseling practice in Newport Beach, it has become clear to me that “midlife” isn’t a popular term anymore.  After all, “40” is the new “30” and “50” is the new “40” and so on, right?  Midlife tends to speak a little too directly to the process of aging (a little denial, please?) and calls up images of “midlife crisis” as an explanation for adults reliving their youth (sometimes with destructive consequences). 

Being a fairly rambunctious boy in Junior High, I got into trouble one day during lunch and was ordered by a teacher to sit down for the remainder of the lunch period.  In frustration, I said, “That sucks!”  The teacher, having thought she heard a different word, proceeded to take me to the principal’s office.  I recall being very upset because I was getting into trouble for something she misinterpreted. In my couples counseling practice in Newport Beach,

Significant depression exists in about 5 percent of children and adolescents in the general population. Children under stress, who experience loss, or who have attentional, learning or conduct disorders are at a higher risk for depression. Many other children experience a low grade depression. The behavior of depressed children and teenagers differs from the behavior of depressed adults. Understanding child depression is important because child depression is often over looked.

As a therapist who works with many children and adolescents,

Have you ever felt out of control? Last spring I tore a muscle in my arm just below the shoulder and basically lost the use of my arm. I couldn’t drive, do dishes, dry my hair, and I struggled to get dressed. I felt like I was getting a preview into my life at the age of 90. Being or feeling out of control feels terrible! Kids who are frequently out of control feel badly on a regular basis.